As I’m scrolling through FB, I’m finding many articles about empaths. They all have a lot in common as far as signs to know you are an empath, but the ones that stick out to me are the ones about using your sensitivity to enhance your life.
This includes understanding, creating and maintaining boundaries. And more often than not these boundaries need to be with the ones we love most. Most of us have done the work or are at least aware of creating boundaries in public places, around strangers or with casual acquaintances. But when it comes to loved ones we often feel guilty about having boundaries.
I think there are several reasons. Rarely is one single empath born to a family. We often live/grow up with empaths who ignore their sensitivity and go a step further to drown it out. Thus leaving them depleted. They then turn to others to fill up their energy. Usually this is totally unconscious. As cognizant empaths we feel that they need help, i.e. energy and because we love them we let them have it. Only when we become aware empaths do we recognize that this is not helpful to either party. Then comes the guilt over feeling like you have abandoned your loved one. As an empath it is physically, mentally and emotionally painful for you to watch them go down this path and not reach out to “help”.
This is why I find empaths fit into one of two categories. Those who have created boundaries and have limited time with the “toxic” people in their life, some even understand that it may be necessary to completely cut off ties with their family. Or those who continue to live an excruciatingly painful life by constantly being exposed to the “toxic” people in their lives, have no boundaries and give their energy away.
On the surface, the second empath appears to the masses to be the better person. As they are hanging in there and doing all they can to save this family member(s). But in reality, they are helping no one, and actually doing more harm than good. There is a serious physical, emotional and mental impact this behavior has on all involved. (To be discussed in more detail in another post.) We did not come to this earth to live in misery and then die. But this is the life the second empath creates. And not only do they dim their light but they show other that they should dim their light to, and they are helping to keep the “toxic” person in the dark. This person may or may not ever see the light in themselves, but it is not your responsibility to make sure they do. And unfortunately the second empath type is enabling this blindness and helping to keep everyone, including themselves in the dark. This is why being the “good” person in the eyes of society is detrimental to most empaths, heck most people.
Now the first empath, can appear to society to be cold hearted if they walked away from their toxic family members. In a rare case the aware empath, with strong boundaries, has been banished from the family member(s) life because they are no longer enabling the “toxic” person. And when they accept that and walk away, they are still looked upon by society as cold hearted.
Ironic, that the most sensitive person is viewed to be the least sensitive. Oh how our society is so energetically out of touch.
Putting up strong boundaries with our loved ones, who are usually repressed empaths, is not an easy task. It is a path of ups and downs, but when you get there you will never go back. For it is only from this space that you can see clearly. You did not come to earth to suffer and die. You came to earth to live fully and joyfully and when you shine your light you give others, especially those repressed empaths in your family, permission to do the same. You give them another version of reality. Another option, another way to live. And they may or may not take it. But as an aware empath, you are ok with it either way. Because you know that their soul will incarnate to see another day, and this pain they are living in is only temporary. As an aware empath, you can connect with their soul, their spirit, instead of the their human condition. And this connection is better for everyone involved. As empaths we feel everything and usually absorb it. When we become aware and start connecting on a soul level, we start absorbing that soul vibration instead of the painful human condition. This is the beauty of our gift. It helps us transcend the illusion and live in the flow.
Are you ready to start living in the flow?
Namaste dudes and dudettes.